Red Wing #1-4 (Hickman/Pitarra - Image Comics)

Some comic books force "writers" like me to come back from the cyber-dead and blog about them.

What.  The.  Fuck.  Was going on in this comic book?!

Let me start over.

I love Jonathan Hickman.  You could say that I'm a Jonathan Hick.... fan.  Even when he phones in work-for-hire for Marvel, I still enjoy it.  I picked up the first issue of this book solely based on the fact that his name was on the cover; didn't hurt that the cover looked like it had been drawn by Geof Darrow.
 
But...

You know what I hate?  Time travel.

You know what I really hate?  Trying to read a book about time travel... monthly.

You know what I really really hate?  Father/son melodrama.

You know what I really really really hate?  This book looks like it was drawn by Frank Quitely when he was 12.

Amazingly, I still thought this comic was fun.  I have no idea what happened, because the characters all kind of looked the same AND because it was monthly and involved time travel.  I plan on re-reading it and trying to figure it out.

Panels were frequently rough to follow, or vague, or disjointed, and a lot of the backgrounds looked like they had been drawn in Microsoft Pain.  BUT the coloring was good, and pretty much carried the art on its shoulders.  However, for all the crap I've said about Pitarra's art, the covers are fucking gorgeous.  It's obvious that the dude can draw very very well.

All in all, read this if you have the opportunity, or if you love Jonathan Hickman, but it's pretty much like going out to eat at a mediocre Thai restaurant.

Holy Terror......HOLY SHIT

dudes.this is the opposite of whats right.

Near Death

W - Jay Faerber   A - Simone Guglielmini

Crime time!  I really liked this comic!  Bad guy...really bad guy has a brush with death and decides he needs to make amends.  His amends begin with interference that will cause him much strife, but he seems just gritty enough to work it out.  The art is loose and shady without an overkill of detail, it matches the story quite well.  Bravo!

4 out of 5 lessons learned.

Star Trek #1

W - Mike Johnson   A - Stephen Molnar

I guess I'm not a secret Star Trek fan, really, I'm just not a public one.  I have a sentimental affection for Star Trek, so I decided to give this comic a go.  There are (or have been in the last couple of years) SO MANY Star Trek comics popping up that I've had no interest in even looking at them.  I'm not entirely sure why this one grabbed my eye, but it did.  And, it was awesome.  It has all of the classic Star Trek elements that we love: the bridge, the "Oh my god, what is that?! Put in on screen!", the mysterious affect of whatever "it" was on the crew.  Awesome.  The art isn't my all time favorite, but it's good and the characters look like the respective, real life, people that played them in the most recent movie.  I think I'll probably read this series on a regular basis.  Nice work, dudes.

4 out of 5 problems with the teleporter.

Half World

W - Hiromi Goto  Illustrations - Jillian Tamaki (Skim)

Let's start with the fact that this book is a novel, and not a comic.  There are sparse black and white illustrations, but the writing is so succulent that every detail was fully animated in my imagination.  I think that this is, ultimately, a coming of age story.  A tale of transition from girl to woman, body and mind.  The bad guy in this shit is straight vile.  His depravity is palpable.  He's just disgusting and gives me the heebie jeebies.  The main character is pretty whiny at times, but she man's up in the end.  Yeah!

3 out of 3 realms brought back together.

Liz is diving into DC!

Well, I'm not swimming laps or anything, but I'm gonna get my feet wet.

Catwoman #1

W - Judd Winick  A - Guillem March

Whoa, DC!  Racy with a capital R.  The story works, and the art is seductive.  25/30DD.


Wonder Woman #1

W - Brian Azzarello   A - Cliff Chiang

I thought Wonder Woman looked really weird on the cover, but I liked it a lot!  The interior art isn't quite as angular.  Good, classic storyline...damsel in distress carrying a VIP baby.  Yep, dope.  4 deflected arrows out of 5 horse bodied assailants.


Supergirl #1

W - Michael Green and Mike Johnson   A - Mahmud Asrar

Straightforward entrance, excellent narration from multiple points of view and smooth art that's easy on the eyes.  I, all around, liked it.  I even got a little choked up at the end.  4 Supergirl's against 5 robots.

Batman Incorporated #8

Error
404 - the fun in this comic could not be found.

all 0's out of 0101010101

The Punisher

W - Greg Rucka
A - Marco Checchetto


A classic Punisher tale.  Vigilante justice at it's best.  Merciless righting of wrongs.  The writing is good, it has an excellent flow and pace.  It's easy to digest and I don't mean that in any kind of bad way.  I'm a little iffy on the art.  It's mostly ok, but Punisher too pretty!  It doesn't fit.  Regardless of my opinion of the art, the comic was good!  Fun!  Hard core!

4 out of 5 fully spent clips.

Binky to the Rescue

W/A - Ashley Spires

Fun for everyone!  This is the 2nd Binky book so far.  Admittedly, I'm a huge fan of anything to do with cats, but still: The art is HILARIOUS!  The facial expressions and body language of Binky are expertly rendered and portray the exact emotion intended.  The story is simple, straightforward and appropriate for cat lovers of any age.  It didn't get an Eisner nomination for nothin!

5 out of 5 on the Space Cat Academy entrance exam.

The Bombyce Network

W/A - Cecil and Corbeyran

I was drawn in by the cover art.  What a stroke of luck, this book is AWESOME!

Flea and Elmore are thieves.  They're part of a network.  The Bombyce Network.  They have gotten themselves into a bundle of trouble by robbing the wrong powerful people.  Nasty things are going on amongst the upper echelon of the French elite and this burglary could expose them all!

As indicated by the cover, the art is amazing.  It's rich like a painting and still maintains the crispness of penciled lines.  The story is gripping.  Originally 3 issues, Corbeyran left the series after issue two.  There was a three year wait between the first two, and an EIGHT year wait for issue three.  Yeesh. The split-up is noticeable in the writing even though it's not directly made clear.

Cool shit.  4 out of 5 gold schillings.

JONAH HEX!

Written by - Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti Art by - Ryan Sook
.......So its been a while since a posting, huh? We've been attempting (with phenomenal success and disparaging results) to read all of Flashpoint and Fear Itself.With such an extreme consumption of mediocrity we have dashed our ability to describe or transmute our indifference into words.Fear not!Hark!Out of the deluge of humdrum storytelling arises.........JONAH HEX #70! Alright Jonah Hex is great.Not as a human but as a monthly,on time comic,and as a character.Month after month for near on six years Palmiotti and Gray have brought a wrinkle to my brow and a smile to my lips.( also my hand to my mouth while i exclaim an "oh snap!". Because you do not mess with Hex and tons of characters seem lose sight of this,and then lose a chunk of their head....which i love!) But i digress.Jonah Hex has a rotating cast of phenomenal classic western comic artists and the best guest artists in the biz.They get artists that typically only do cover illustrations do to whole interiors because these high profile artists WANT to draw an awesome western....and that be Hex.Issue #70 is no exception,with the amazing Ryan Sook shaming lesser artists with his interior art.Hex has always done amazing single issue stories and rarely did multi part stories,which amongst the spate of crossovers and clifhangers based storytelling, was a gale of fresh air.This is the final issue before the enormous relaunch of DC comics in september....wait....i know. Maybe you dudes are like "hold on Christian,you just sold us on a great monthly series just to tell us its over!? what the hey!?" Fear not! DC comics is not completley brain dead, and Jonah will be back in the pages of "All Star Western"! This series will feature Jonah in Gotham! when its a frontier town! He'll be reluctantly teamed up with Amadeus Arkham the founder of Arkham Asylum, to catch criminals! The writing team remains the same! I know! Totally awesome right!? Read it!

two out two six guns firing on all cylinders
it would have been awesome if Paul Pope and Frank Quitely had each done a single issue of Jonah Hex.im just sayin.

Fear, Continued (Part 2 of Fear)

Man. I had a copy of Journey Into Mystery in my pile this week that I was just SAVORING. I had it on the very bottom of the stack, waiting like an elegant digestif: it would end my Fear Itself session on a high note and my entire review would be better as a result. But when I cracked it open I realized it was last month's issue. There was no new Journey Into Mystery. I fabricated a new issue out of childish, baseless desire.

Whatever.

So here's my continued review of a backlog of Fear Itself issues. I hope that my bitterness doesn't bleed through too heavily.

• Invincible Iron Man #504-505 - Xmas said recently (and I paraphrase): "the best crossover writers are the ones that write whatever the fuck they want whilst the 'event' is just happening. " I agree with him (though not with his lifestyle or the choices he's made). When Fear Itself is just a context, a sort of background thing to other, better stories, this whole series becomes pretty damn sweet. And while most Fear Itself books don't seem to be heeding to this guideline (and are suffering accordingly), Matt Fraction, the event's architect, really hits the nail on the head in his flagship Invincible Iron Man series. These were a great couple of issues. The Grey Gargoyle, in his turn as the coolest hammer-wielder thus far, is turning the citizens of Paris to stone. When Iron Man shows up to shut that shit down, he realizes (mid-melee) that all of the rubble he crashes and is punched through...is peoples!!! This is pretty weird and gross for the I-Man, as you can imagine, and you get a real sense of all this FEAR that everyone's been talking so much about. I liked!
• Fear Itself: Fearsome Four #1 - Man...Howard the Duck...what the damn...huh? Forget it.
• Fear Itself: Deadpool #1 - Funny! Deadpool is funny sometimes! He's just such a scamp, you know? Always getting into some type of mischief. This adventure finds our protagonist scamming a suburban couple before tricking a hard-luck villain named "The Walrus" into thinking he's found one of the Serpent's Hammers. But who is that other inner-thought dialogue box? The white one? I didn't get that. If someone could explain that to me, that would be great.*
• Secret Avengers #14 - Nick Spencer's back again, obeying what I will henceforth refer to as the "Xmas Event-uality," using the larger "Fear" stuff to execute an almost stand-alone story. I didn't get into this one as much as the last issue (with Congress and The Beast and what-not), but it was a pretty fun ride. Points for good use of Odin and Valkyrie, demerits for having the two main characters being all kissy face in the middle of a giant Nazi robot fight. Like Secret Avengers #13, this one was just so close to great.
• Thunderbolts #159 - I was a third of the way through this giant sized, special issue of Thunderbolts when I realized I had no idea what was going on. I was enjoying it, I think, but I was pretty much totally lost. I leave a review of this issue to a certain co-blogger who knows better, who might have something substantive to contribute. He knows who he is.
• Fear Itself: Black Widow - I am not an expert in terrorists. I will be the first to admit this. But do terrorists refer to "terror" as often as they do in FI: Black Widow? Don't they usually employ terror incidentally, in service of some greater cause? The goal being X, with the "terrorists" wiling to employ violent means to achieve X, with terror being a bi-product or ends towards X? Am I splitting hairs? Isn't this just a comic book? Yeah ok, but this issue was still stupid. A group of bad guys, looking to capitalize on the craziness happening in France, are in the middle of doing some "terror." Do they want money? Prestige? I don't know and neither do they. For a better example of Cullen Bunn's writing, please see Sixth Gun, which is fantastic. And then let's all pretend that this didn't happen.

I'm all caught up! Hopefully the next thing I review won't have anything to do with Fear Itself! Until Next Time!



* Before I even finished writing, I was informed that the other dialogue box is...also Deadpool. Because he's, like, crazy. So it's his inner dialogue, apparently. Maybe you knew that, but there we go.

Flashpoint #1

W - Geoff Johns
A - Andy Kubert

So, you're probably like "Whaaaaaat?  Wait, Liz is reviewing Flashpoint?  Liz, that has nothing nice to say about core Marvel and DC titles?  Why do you guys keep letting her review these books?!"

Calm your worried mind.  I'm going to read the five issue, main series of Flashpoint.  Guess what?!  I thought issue #1 was pretty dope.  Somebody is seriously f*%$ing around with Barry Allen!  One second, everything is normal.  He's got Iris, love of his life.  He's got super powers, he's the Flash, duh.  And then in the next moment, after waking from a little cat nap everything is BONKERS!  Nothing makes sense!  His mom comes to meet him for birthday dinner, whaaaat?!  His beautiful Iris is clearly involved with someone else.  Wonder Woman and Aquaman are the bad guys?!  Batman is super mean!  What the hell?  Little by little, the pieces start to come together and bring some sense to what's going on.  But...it can't all be peaches and cream.  I'm not terribly fond of the art.  It reminds me of Michael Turner, no disrespect.  Yep, I liked it and am actually looking forward to issue #2.  Stay tuned!

4 out of 5 whacked out realities.

All Nighter

W/A - David Hahn

Setting: A 24 hour diner type place that reminds me of my many years as a Denny's waitress. I want to hate it, but I don't. I like it. The comic, I like the comic. I hated being a Denny's waitress.

The main character of the story is a girl named Kit. She doesn't like her boyfriend, but can't seem to break up with him. He's always trying to 'figure something out', which usually involves B&E. She has a couple of lightly introduced roommates and is looking for a third. I'm not entirely sure where the story is going from here. It could be some kind of life changing crime drama, or it could be a spirited coming of age saga. Either way, the storytelling is sensible and I look forward to continuing with this series (despite my food service flashbacks).

4 smoke breaks out of 5 tables.

One, Two, Three, Four...Fear! (1 of 2)

Woah! Guess it's been a minute. Almost as if I was staring at an increasingly large pile of Fear Itself books and simply could not summon the will to go on. But is that what Red Skull's daughter would do? Hell no. She would read that pile of comics, comb her skull, and then get out there and face the world. She'd also probably drive to Marvel's headquarters in New York and do something terrible in broad daylight to the people responsible for these comics. I won't do that, but I will throw my unsolicited opinions out into the internet ether:

• Iron Man 2.0 #6: Am I that easy to please? Can Nick Spencer just put a bunch of Immortal Weapons in front of me, throw the words "Eighth City" around a few times, and watch me grin like an idiot?Apparently, yes.
• Fear Itself: Youth In Revolt #2 - Really? More Thor Girl? This issue finds our "heroes" turning themselves into the authorities and occasionally punching. Also included: some disposable, irrelevant dude deciding that he just can't handle the pressures of leadership. How many whining superheroes that no one gives a shit about can you fit into one comic? Youth In Revolt dares to find out.
• Fear Itself: Homefront #3 - Remember Speedball? C'mon, sure you do. Without Speedball, we wouldn't have had that Civil War! Remember that Civil War? No? Well, Marvel definitely does. Speedball is front and center in Homefront, trying just so hard to make amends for all those people he horribly killed on accident that one time. Also, to be interesting. Johnny Woo continues his pretty cool bout with sanity in the title's second act, plus some other things happen. I find Homefront to completely benign-- neither offensive nor good. Which is saying something for this crossover. And it definately reads much smoother than a lot of other Fear Itself books, which is saying a lot more.
• Avengers #14 - This comic book is like...if Brian Michael Bendis got Eternal-Sunshine'd and lost all previous memory of the comics he's written, how to write comics, etc. THEN some editor shows him Powers and is like, "write like THIS guy." So this weird, de-Bendis'd Bendis shits out a Brian Michael Bendis impression and it's called "Avengers." But Please Note: I believe in and love BMB. When the word balloon faucet turns off and things settle down a bit, I think he's as good as anyone writing comics right now. Even this issue has its moments (Ben Grimm totally drops a building on the Red Hulk: awesome). But overall the whole reality show confessional thing feels a little like Jerking Off. In a weird way.

More? Oh, yes, many more. To be continued!

Samurai's Blood #1

Written by Owen Wiseman
Art by Nam Kim and Sakti Yuwono

Have you read Lone Wolf and Cub? There's only one right answer to that question.

Owen Wiseman has. Plus a bunch of other shit, probably. Like books and stuff what ain't got pictures. Maybe that's unfair; not every samurai book HAS to be compared to Lone Wolf and Cub. But if you're going for a historically accurate, super-dramatic period piece set in Edo-era Japan against the cartoonishly exaggerated backdrop of what we refer to, hundreds of years after the fact, as "samurai honor," then guess what? That shit's a little like Lone Wolf. Tough sake, kemo sabe.

Samurai's Blood, however, accomplishes the goals that it aims for, I think. At least in the first issue. The point of bringing up LWaC is only to say that it's pretty tough to have anything new to add to this genre. But this title's doing its best. The Sanjo clan is being wiped out in a massive power grab and the only branch spared is that of the youngest member, who's been hiding in the mountains, fiercely training his son and a young retainer.

So much samurai. This book oozes samurai. Almost...too much. But the art isn't bad. My one complaint is that, so far, the tone is so deadly serious. Like EVERY PAGE is THE MOST IMPORTANT PAGE. That's kind of a half-assed critique, so I wouldn't put too much stock in it. But still.

Four out of Five Retainers, Dying w/Their Swords Pointed Towards the Enemy in the Service of Some Rich Guy

Four Itself: Round Fear

True Story: I was at the comic shop last week when this kid, maybe ten years old, says to his dad, "What the heck is this?" He's holding up a copy of Fear Itself #3

"That," Dad says, "is Fear Itself, I think."

"Whaizzat? Whaizzat about?" the kid asks.

"I don't know, son," Dad replies. "I think they're just giving hammers to a bunch of jerks." The kid looked at the comic for another moment before tossing it back on the shelf. It landed sideways.

I've been trying, but I can't think of a better way to sum up this crossover event.

• Fear Itself #3: A few more hammers are given away, and Captain America is ready to Kick some Ass. As the core series, Fear Itself is getting harder to read as a stand alone book, since outside events in outside series are becoming more and more integral to what's going on. There was a surprise Hammer awarding in this issue, but the biggest difference between characters before and after receiving the wrath-of-the-serpent is that they are required to use exclamation points after everything they say. Big 'ol shocker ending that left me unmoved, unshocked. Bleh.
  
• Journey Into Mystery #624: I'm going to go ahead and make this official: the best reason to read Fear Itself and its many children is so that you can read Journey Into Mystery in the proper context. This book is so dope. Kieron Gillen has definitely made my list of Writers To Watch. There's been so much crap happening with Asgard, Thor, Loki, and the Marvel/Norse-iverse in the last year; but somehow Gillen makes the reader feel totally at ease with all of it (having read barely any of the pertinent material) while providing a HEL of an entertaining comic. Loki is awesome. Volstagg is awesome. The hel-wolf is SUPER awesome. Read this, please.
• Fear Itself: The Deep: This was fucking terrible. I'm serious. In a sea of mediocre, work-for-hire bullshit, The Deep stands alone. Deeply shitty. Deep up a butt hole. The script for this book should be sank Deep, Deep below the waves, erased from the minds and memories of men. It's about Namor and the ocean, or something. I don't know. I want to forget. And it's by the guy that did Sixth Gun, a very cool book from Oni Press. I don't know what happened. This is what the Serpent God is doing to us, apparently.

Fourth Session Report: Is there more? How much more? Did I even read all of the books that came out last week? There was MORE?!? Truly, this is the essence of...apprehension. Itself.

x - men first class.......?

.....was awesome! and kick ass was horrid. there i said it.

although.... i was appalled that the men behind the curtain of "x-men: first class" attempted to present January Jones as being alluring or attractive. ugh.

Fear Itself: Round Three (3)!

Nick Spencer wrote both of the Fear Itself issues released this week! I like Nick Spencer! He's nominated for an Eisner for Best Writer this year, and Morning Glories is a weird, interesting read. Let's see how he treats the cruel bitch that is Fear Itself:

• Secret Avengers #13 - Ok! This one really had me going. A reeeeeal page turner. How do you like this premise: As hordes of god-knows-what kind of Nazi robots are descending upon Washington D.C. (thanks, Fear), the gutless elected officials to the U.S. House of Representatives have fled the capitol! EXCEPT! One man has stayed behind; it seems in his hurry to skirt fiery death-by-Nazi, the Speaker of the House forgot to adjourn the session! House Rep. Leonard Gary (D-Ms.) realizes this means he can now, all by his lonesome, call motions to order! Or even vote on legislation! While doom is threatening to knock the whole place down any second! I was really enjoying this issue until it devolved into a sappy Mr. Smith Goes to Washington knock off. But I think the idea of this is so good that it should have been stretched out over a bunch of issues. But alas, what we have instead is two full pages of the Gettysburg Address (I'm serious) while the Lincoln monument come-to-life smashes Nazi bots. So close.
• Iron Man 2.0 #5 - War Machine plus Iron Fist?!? Whaaa?!? Here's a secret about me: I looove Iron Fist. For my money, Ed Brubaker and Matt Fraction's Immortal Iron Fist is one of the most kick ass comics of the past several moons. I Jump at any IIF appearance in any other title and, for the most part, am disappointed. But this was pretty cool! War Machine is dealing with the D.C. crisis (see above, kind of) when The Prince of Orphans is summoned away to seal the Eighth Kingdom. If that last sentence made no sense, you need to read the above mentioned Iron Fist series POST HASTE and report back. AT ANY RATE: Sweet issue, good tie-in to Fear Itself.
  

Third Session Report: Thanks, Nick Spencer! A light, but enjoyable week!

Vampirella and the Scarlet Legion #1

Vampirella is the key to everything!  The old ones are coming!  Is she the only one that can stop them?!  Nope, the Scarlet Legion ( a ruthless brand of vampire hunters) will step in to help her save the world.  The only question is, will they see her as friend...or foe?

I can't wait to see what happens!

5 out of 5 crucifix shaped wooden stakes.




I am totally lying.

Fear Itself: Round Two

(Cover to Herc #3, w - Pak, Van Lente / a - Edwards)

The Fear Train just keeps on a rollin'. This week's batch of comics are as follows:

• Fear Itself: Youth In Revolt - Read Liz's excellent post (below) for a pretty good summary of what's wrong with this single issue. I guess it's possible that I am too far out of the Initiative loop to really "get" this comic, so I don't want to be too harsh. Except to say (or reiterate from Liz and Christian) that Thor Girl is incredibly fucking stupid. Thor Girl? Everything else aside, you can't think of a better name than "Thor Girl?" I find this character offensive to Thor, fans of Thor, fans of comic books, and all women, everywhere.
  
• Herc #3: Herc so Silly! I had no idea. Brooklyn's got The Fear and Herc's on the case, promising to let evildoers "taste his steel." It seems like more than a few of these tie-in titles feature main characters fighting slightly more crime than usual due to the serpent god's Fear Juice. Starting to feel like a cop out; I am increasingly disinterested.
  
• Avengers #13 - I completely agree with Christian (see below) and his take on the Bendis dialogue thing. Pretty snappy and what-not, but a little jarring. Entertaining, but distracting. But Bendis has to make word balloons: he can't not. Watching Avengers flirt with each other, though, is...not good? I don't know. I am indifferent to this book.
  
• Invincible Iron Man #504 - Unread, as of this writing. Dammit.
  

Second Session Report: When I was reading, I didn't think I minded these comics. But when I look over these bullet points I'm not seeing a lot of positivity. This is troubling: am I becoming inured to crossover bullshit? Have to keep on eye on this.

Fear Itself.......With A Little Help From It's Friends

Dudes! An event is happening in marvel comics right now! have you heard of it? It's called "fear itself" and it'll make your wallet piss itself in fear all right. nick summed up my feelings on crossovers pretty well in his previous post so i wont rehash it again, but i am going to attempt to read all the comics that cross over into the event. here is my my brief initial reactions to all the Fear Itself issues i have read.

Fear Itself: book of the skull - the red skulls daughter is super evil, deformed, and is the new red skull!She busts into an old ww2 era bunker of her pops to uncover something terrible! esoteric Nazi occult stuff? rad!

Fear itself #1 - Tony stark wants to help the Asgardian rebuild their home of Asgard and Odin is all like "pfft,i believe we'll be bouncing out to the cosmos instead"........things start getting all fear-y across the globe.an ancient god is awakened and pissed off.a sense of dread pervades through the marvel universe.......this could be cool.....i DO like Matt fraction.

Fear Itself: Homefront - here's a batch of four short stories: Speedball is volunteering incognito for the families of victims of the school bus explosion that started off civil war (yeah i know,like 5 years ago we're still talking about it)there are two other short stories in here that i don't even remember anything about which maybe doesn't say anything good about my memory or those stories.BUT it also features an agents of atlas multi part story that is awesome and jimmy woo kicks mega ass in.

Journey into Mystery #622 - this title used to be Thor and was about Thor.now it's called Journey into Mystery and is about Loki, who has be de aged into a child.its super rad,mythical and Loki as a child allows for such great innocent mischief and misguided intent.if you dug the Thor movie check out Journey into Mystery.the asgardian aspects of it are the whip.

Invincible Iron Man #503 - this is the conclusion to an ongoing story about doctor octopus trying to best tony stark in a battle of intellects.pretty cool stuff and i love the fraction iron man, but it was barely involved in fear itself except for tony witnessing some ominous comets crashing to earth.what are they? well that is all explained in ....

Fear itself #2 - Those comets are crazy ass hammers sent by the previously mentioned awakened and infuriated elder god.....who is a Norse deity that rules with FEAR and is the oldest asgardian! These hammers are sent to people who will become this gods army of fear on earth.all them get hammers like anti Thor's or some such shite....i dunno,this is going to goofy town already.Sin goes on the offense and a ton of stuff gets blown up,so that was exciting.

Fear Itself Spiderman #1 - HOLY CRAP! new york is collectively losing their minds to paranoia and .......FEAR.riots are breaking out,chaos is all around, and spidey has gotta deal with it.color me unimpressed.all of the world is freaking out which is actually pretty scary if ya think about it,and spidey is hilarious as usual.

Journey into Mystery #623 - Loki is tryin to figure a way out of this fear itself mess, which means defying his father and getting into mischief!classic Loki.ill keep reading this book long after fear itself if this awesomeness keeps up.this book has the two things I'm real crazy about in comics right now:imagination and exploration.thinking of crazy awesome uncharted ideas and then delving into unexplored territory.solid stuff.mystic as all get out too!

Fear itself: Homefront #2 - speedball is still a well meaning douche and the whole town of Stamford turns against him as the fear spreads,more forgettable back up features and Agents of atlas/jimmy woo kickin ass in a castle.these dudes should just kept doing agents of atlas.

Fear Itself: youth in revolt - Liz's review says it all.meh-tacular.

Herc #3 - ya know, Ive never read Herc before so I'm just popping for fear itself.they did a great job of getting me up to speed right away! Hercules is depowered,works in a diner in Brooklyn,and has a ton of mystical artifacts that help him whoop booty.OK go!.....Herc fights everybody! a street gang/cult of the war god "Ares"! escaped prisoners from the raft! quasi deities!....which was all pretty silly and only tangentially involved with fear itself.at one point Herc did have me cracking up tho.Herc is doing a public appearance and listening to citizens complaints which range from a meth lab next door to a neighbors terrier barking all night.Herc's solution to all problems? they will "meet his steel" ha!

Invincible Iron Man #504 - all the citizens of Paris have been turned to stone! oh noes! iron man is gonna check it out and throws down with one of the hammer wielding "worthy" (heralds of the evil asgardian) who is made of stone! hmmm?
the banter between tony and pepper continues to be phenomenal and realistic but I'm a little Luke warm on this ish.....and i super dig Matt fractions writing.i hope this book stays great throughout the deluge that is fear itself.i dunno.

Avengers #13 - this takes place before/during the events of fear itself #1 and covers tony starks plan to rebuild Asgard from a more intimate and avengers based perspective.the avengers and the asgardians have a raging party to celebrate! it looks fun as hell,volstagg drops hints that he wants to be an avenger,luke cage slams mead like "whoa",and hawkeye flirts with spider woman.the dialogue is classic whip crack Bendis,but much like his his writing on Mighty Avengers,it does not seem to fit the characters and super heroic setting.red hulk eats a bunch of raw eggs! hilarious! this issue ends with spider-man saying "and, like that,the avengers were never going to be the same again.no joke."
its like spidey gets the whole joke about crossovers and how they "change everything" and is cluing us in. thanks spidey.i guess.

Fear Itself: Youth in Revolt #1

W - Sean McKeever
A - Mike Norton

I'm familiar with 'The Crossover' and do what I can to avoid it when it's around.  However, having read none of the Fear Itself comics, so far, I was goaded into reading this one.

It has all of the qualities I'm looking for in a comic to randomly review:

• It's a #1
• It's a mini-series
• It's a Marvel comic

I find that I can pick up most Marvel #1's or one-shots and read/review them without needing to go  back.  I don't care about the characters or have a pressing need to follow up on the story, which gives these books a certain disposability.

I guess you can probably tell from my tone that I didn't really dig it.  I enjoyed the little intro blurb on the first page.  The art has just a smack of 90's Image and, maybe it's just me, but I don't think anyone wants to revisit that.  I couldn't really feel the 'flow' of the story.  I understood what was happening, but the pacing was weird and the events seemed a little disjointed.  Don't misunderstand me, there wasn't anything glaringly bad about this comic book, but it was definitely not my cup of tea, or even on the same street as my alley.

As a (mostly) non-superhero comic reader I am always on the lookout for a book that will pique my interest in the genre - a book that will CHANGE EVERYTHING!  This comic book was not the one.

p.s.  Thor Girl?

Superman: Brainiac

written by: Geoff Johns
art by: Gary Frank

Superman vs Brainiac again! for the first time!? Yeah,so apparently the hundreds of times Supes has tussled with Brainiac were not the real super intellect that is Brainiac!? those dudes were just probes sent to gather information about Superman for brainiacs "collection" of curios......which includes a great number of miniaturized and bottled cities,one of which looks shockingly familiar to the man of steel! (cue dramatic music) DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN! When my man Supes kicks a ton of brainiac droid @$$,Brainiac is roused from his techno slumber and is pretty furious about it and expresses himself with his fists! At one point Brainy initiates attack attempt #242 against Superman.Thats a lot of combat data to have stored and memorized.Supes doesn't know whats comin but Brainiac is bringing it.look out kryptonian!
Seriously,this was a "Super" cool story.Its totally self contained,so you just swoop into the story and get ready for a blast.Brainiac is super smart and is like the ultimate collector/snob......dude wants to eliminate all of earth because now they know about krypton,a place "only he should know of and wont share".Brainiac is like the extraterrestrial version of that "friend" you have who is real into music but is all "yeah,[fill in the blank]is my favorite band right now,but you've probably never heard of em". Like an E.T. that wont share his reeses pieces and gets violent at the mere suggestion of it.
Like superheroes? like sci-fi? So does writer Geoff Johns! (check out his Green Lantern mythos,its an awesome space opera....with an intergalactic police force,like Starfleet or something!) Check this out!

- DO NOT GET SUPERMAN PISSED OFF! Brainiac pushes some of Clarks buttons and the response is........terrifying.

- Superman's adopted dad, Pa Kent is a real great father.He's supes dad y'all,he learned Supes on how to be human!

- Gary Frank is an awesome penciler.Great action scenes that bust through the panel in amazing detail.

- i really wish all the artists that draw Supergirl would finish drawing her shirt.The current shirt exposes her entire stomach.Midriff baring shirts are exceedingly stupid,particularly on a flagship female character in fiction,let alone in the real world.it's time to hang it up.

4 probes destroyed out of 5 probes sent

The Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Another Marvel Crossover Event

Fear Itself

Crossover Events. The ugly reality of comic book publishing. Beneath the shining veneer of color and unbridled imagination lies, hidden away, the cruelly mistreated, abused child that makes all of it possible. I hate them...but I love them.

And why wouldn't you? Crossover events promise to "change everything!" Just when you've had your fill of the crime-fighting status-quo, along comes a massive monster/war/rift in time-space. Things will get horribly grim, a few heroes will be killed, and at the last minute (issue) the series' central character will somehow save EVERYTHING. It's a sound formula, right?

But as we all know, the formula's the problem. Not only the predictability of the story lines, but the arbitrariness of Changing Everything every year, just in time for summer. The transparency of crossover events as horrible, word-balooned greed can't help but wear on even the most faithful reader.

I've gone through a pattern for the past few years:
1. Start the series
2. Enjoy the first few issues
3. Miss a random, under printed issue
4. Lose track of the plot
5. Realize that company X hates me and loves only my money
6. Try to jump back in since, hey, I already went this far
7. Realize I have no fucking idea what's happening in this comic or any comic related to it
8. Give up, defeated.
9. Vow "Never Again."

So, all that being said, here' s my comprehensive-ish, multi-part Mega Blog covering all of Marvel's latest clusterfuck, Fear Itself. I hearby and officially invite all of my fellow Wereadcomics bloggers, whom I know are each reading various parts of this series themselves, to join me in a debate of the merits and "meh"-rits of this event in their own postings. Feel free to disagree or even call me names.

So Here We Go! In the order that I read 'em!

• Fear Itself: The Book of the Skull: Really cool! The Red Skull's daughter is up to something! Awesome WWII Captain America flashbacks! Fear Itself is going to be so cool!
• Fear Itself #1: Man, Matt Fraction can make anything cool, maybe. Asgard, and all of its godly citizens, have been stuck on earth. In middle America. Odin demands they flee the planet (has had enough of Oklahoma) in anticipation of some encroaching evil. But Thor loves earth chicks, so there is conflict. A good start! Let's go!
• Fear Itself: Home Front #1: A serial compilation of stories apparently not good enough to merit their own title. Not too bad, especially the Speedball story that opens the issue. As a peripheral title, Home Front seems relatively harmless, if not actually good.
• Journey Into Mystery #622: Okay, this is awesome. A good reason to read crossovers, apparently, is to check out titles that you otherwise would have completely ignored. Thor looks to be prominently featured in Fear Itself, and Loki is never far behind his big bro. In JiM, we join Loki after he's been turned into a child without his adult memories as punishment for past trickery. Will he reform? Will he get back to his old shenanigans? I need to know!
• Fear Itself: Sin's Past: MISSED IT! DAMMIT!
• Invincible Iron Man #503: This only seemed sort of related to Fear Itself issues previously released, except for the end. Not a bad Iron Man session, though. I didn't really know what was happening, but good nonetheless. That Matt Fraction, I tell ya.
• Fear Itself Spiderman #1: Spiderman is getting the fear! All of Manhattan is getting the Fear! This was the first issue in the Event so far that gives you a sense of what's at stake: being pretty freaked out about stuff. Kind of nebulously freaked out and nervous. I don't know. The more I think about it, this kind of sucked.
• Journey Into Mystery #623: Rebuilding momentum! Even better than the last JiM! Asgardian tom-foolery at its finest! I think I will read Journey into Mystery from now on!
• Fear Itself #2: Ok. The shine is coming off this puppy. First issue that was actually disappointing . The God of Fear is assembling "The Worthy" by shooting hammers down to their locations, giving them vaguely enhanced, maybe Thor-like powers. The lineup of hammer-ers is pretty lame and the whole issue felt kind of disjointed. Crossover-itis might be setting in.
  

First Session Status Report: Enthusiasm waning, but I'm still in! Bring on the Fear!

Aaron and Ahmed

Written by Jay Cantor
Art by James Romberger

I was really excited to read Aaron and Ahmed. Here's the pitch: A U.S. Army interrogator at Guantanamo Bay, sickened by the methods used by his cohorts, attempts to suss information out of a high level prisoner (Ahmed) by feeding him estrogen and allowing him various comforts and privileges. The idea is that the combination will cause Ahmed to fall in love with his therapist/interrogator and reveal information he wouldn't otherwise. Pretty crazy, no? Intriguing, yes?

Unfortunately, the bulk of the book didn't live up to its premise. While I really enjoyed some of the high-minded analysis about the motives behind Islamic extremism and the War on Terror in comic-book form, it ended up dragging the plot down.

Things take a turn for the crazy/implausible about mid-way through the book and I don't think that the story ever really recovers. But none of this is to say that Aaron and Ahmed isn't worth checking out: the dialogue is smart, the art is unique and effective, and the treatment of HIGHLY controversial subjects is handled tastefully (I think).

Ultimately, I think Aaron and Ahmed just needed a little more room to breathe: stretch this story out over two or three volumes and the massive amount of happenings, twists, and weirdness might not seem so forced. I dunno. Maybe I was just really pulling for those crazy kids to make it...


2 and 1/2 out of 5 Enhanced Blogging Techniques

Nonplayer #1

w/a by Nate Simpson

The cover to Nonplayer has been catching my eye in Diamond's Previews magazine for months now. Look at that dinosaur-thing. All wrinkly and what not. All harnessed up and shit. What is that about, I wondered? But the description didn't do anything for me; something about video games, angsty chick, blah blah whatever. I consciously allowed the book to flush out of my awareness. "Be Gone!" I said, and forgot about it and probably ambled toward my next food.

And then there it was, today, new comic book day, sitting on the olde New Release Wall. And man, what a great fucking read it was.

Image is on a tear! So many good books! Bad Dog! Morning Glories! Chew! Undying Love! Who IS this publisher? And now, with Nonplayer, the hot-streak continues.

Nonplayer IS about an angsty girl and video games, but in a really good way. It's also about the future, maybe a little video game culture, escapism, violence, dinosaurs(?), violence, and, I think, artificial intelligence. Anyone who reads comics or watches movies knows the danger of written video-game-speak--this kind of dialogue almost always comes off as forced or nonsensical, filled with real and made up jargon to compensate for writers having no idea what they are talking about.

Nonplayer does not suffer from this problem. The book is one of the few titles that references technology (games, in this case) in such a way that it isn't cloying or silly. I am genuinely curious about the world that's being fleshed out here and I genuinely want to play the sweet-ass game these characters are obsessed with.

And the Frank Quitely impersonation that Nate Simpson is pulling off here? Very nice.


8 out of 10 Non-Playable Characters (or are they...?)

Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters #1

Written by Eric Powell & Tracy Marsh
Art by Phil Hester

Godzilla is back!  Just the way you love him!  This shit rules.  Feast your eyes on that tri-fold cover, DUDE!! My only gripe is that it seems like there's a lot more comic than there is.  It has super spaced out paneling and a bunch of non-comic pages at the end.  Bring it on, gimme more! 

4 smashed buildings out of 5 Japanese cities.

Pale Horse

written by - Michael Alan Nelson
pictures by - Christian Dibari (cool first name!)

Cole is a man who has always attempted to do right but has always been wronged.When his wife is murdered Cole is not having it any more.With years of experience as the most shit pants inducing bounty hunter in the south and young son in the saddle with him,Cole blasts a hole through the South and is not taking anyone alive.
This was an awesome straight ahead western.Cole is an ex-slave and former Union soldier who throws around money and bullets like a bachelor at a strip club in his possessed bid for revenge.And he doesn't take quietly to racial epithets! Some loudmouth wants to insult his recently deceased Sioux wife? Cole shoots his teeth out!In the badassery tradition of "Unforgiven" and "Lone wolf and Cub", Cole is unrelenting walking death.....with a secret past!
The dialouge here is very terse and bubbling with tension....Cole is dynamite waiting to get lit.
The art has a roughness to it that enhances the gritty realism of the book,and the color is great.The backgrounds are done with this cool dirty water color wash,so they look very vibrant without being distracting.
If you like your westerns in the style of......well if you like westerns at all give this a look.If you dig westerns like Unforgiven,Open Range,and the Searchers;then prepared to be surprised,entertained,and thrilled.and you can it read it outside and not be inside watching a western on the television!

4 out of 4 extremities removed with a high caliber revolver

Bad Dog #4

Written by Joe Kelly
Art by Diego Greco

Joe Kelly is in my top three favorite writers of fuckwords. Serious: this guy can swear and make characters swear like nobody's business. There are other cool things happening (werewolf, vampires, milk cartons), I guess, so read this now.

This issue also marks the beginning of a new story arc, so it's a great jumping on point for new readers. And the first issues are probably available at a comic store near you...

4 out of 5 Talking Severed Heads

Let Me In - Crossroads

W - Marc Andreyko
A - Patric Reynolds

It won't matter if you've seen the movie or not.  But if you do, see the original and just 'deal' with the subtitles.  This is all I have to say about the pros/cons of original vs remake.  That argument never needs to be had again.  Even as a prequel (nevermind that the movie came out months ago and we're still waiting on the last issue of the comic), it's a gritty read that's fuzzy on the details of what you're jumping into.  The art does the writing great justice with it's rough style and muted colors.  It sets the mood.  The storytelling is calm and non-suspenseful.  There's plenty of murder going on, but somehow it doesn't have me on edge.  It's like getting a glimpse of their every day life, and when done all the time even the most horrible of things seems normal.  I'm pretty indecisive on this one.  With one more issue to go, I'm hesitant to bring the hammer down with a final rating.  What if some crazy ass shit happens in the last issue that totally blows my mind banana?!

For now, I impart 2.5 out of 5 unlucky hitchhikers

If anything changes with the final issue, I will certainly let you know.   

Yo Gabba Gabba! Comic Book Time!

Written and illustrated by so many cool emeffers it's unbelievable!






















If you don't love Yo Gabba Gabba, it's definitely you and not them. This is a collection of 24 different strips by a gaggle of awesome comic people like Evan Dorkin, Sarah Dyer, Mike Allred, J. Torres and Kali Fontecchio. The list goes on and on. This book is an all ages funfest! They're goofy! They're silly! They learn things all the time! It has awesome lessons on manners and reminders of things like sharing and brushing your teeth! What's not to love?!

I'll leave you with this little ditty and a rating of 5 out of 5 boomboxes.

The New York Five #1

W - Brian Wood
A - Ryan Kelly

I enjoy Brian Wood's slice-of-hip/young-life writing style as much as the next guy. It's easy to digest and it's fun to live vicariously through the panels of each tale. I did not read the New York Four (which was released in one volume under the short lived Minx imprint), but they summarize it for you at the beginning of issue 1, to get you up to speed. Cheers to that! You get an introduction to each character with brief background detail, profile style with likes, dislikes, mood at the time, and where they might have procured that awesome pair of boots they have on. They're a diverse group of gals that live in New York and attend NYU, while sharing an eensy, weensy apartment. Like the layers of an onion (holy cliche, Liz), you peel back their stories with each turn of the page. It's presented in a way that by the end of the series all the segments that you've seen will tie together into the grand narrative.

4 out of 5 hipster jokes

Deadpool Max Must-Have

Writer - David Lapham
Artist - Kyle Baker

This is a collected edition of issues #1-3.

Alright.  I can admit that I have a soft spot for Deadpool.  He's just so dumb, and driven by primal instincts for stuff like boobs and crumpets.  I'm not well versed in the Deadpool universe, but if I'm looking for something easy to read, it's a good choice!  This story arc is about a guy named Bob, an agent.  He tracks down and enlists Wade Wilson back into service.  Little does Bob know, Deadpool has his own agenda...to take down The Great Hydra.  Uncomfortable situations and hilarity ensue as Bob gets tangled up with Deadpool's distorted plans to kill each member of the Twelve Headed Serpent.  David Lapham is a great writer and has a flair for the wacky.  Kyle Baker is not an artist I would expect to see penciling such gratuitous nastiness, but he does a great job!  Will I stay tuned to see what happens next?  I sure will! 

3.5 out of 5 snarky one liners

Jennifer Blood

sucks


written by Garth Ennis......who is phoning it in
art by some guy who is better than bad

Victorian Undead

Written by Ian Edington
Art by Davide Fabbri
collection of issues #1-6 $17.99
Disclaimer: this is not really a review,and more like a report of my initial impression

The tagline of this book and its subtitle is: Sherlock Holmes vs. the Undead!...
well score one for the DC marketing department because that is the book right there! A strange (is there any other kind?)comet passes over London and years later bizarre repercussions are felt! what are they you ponder?uhm.....well its zombies and uh...Sherlock Holmes his partner in un-crime Dr. Watson are gonna figgur it out!this comic is cool.seriously.The Holmes/Watson friendship is very balanced in between very chivalrous teasing and devout loyalty and respect.These guys are real friends and have been "in the $#!+" together for a some time.While on the trail dark secrets from London and Holmes personal past are dredged from underground (literally!bwah!).No stuffed shirt costume drama here folks! Gore and bludgeoning are intact! Holmes lops the undeads heads off with a kukri dagger!tanks roam the streets,turning zombies into goo!Biological tampering! underworld crime!
While battling the scourge of rising dead,Holmes and Watson have this exchange:
Watson: There's no bloody stopping them!
Holmes: Aim for the head,that seems to have the desired effect!
(then removes a zombies head with the aforementioned awesome dagger)
like,fer real.that just happened.and it was awesome.check it out!
....also if ya dig this,investigate into Holmes and Watson versus Mr.Hyde in the VICTORIAN UNDEAD SPECIAL and Dracula in the currently running mini series VICTORIAN UNDEAD II: HOLMES VS DRACULA!
3.5 turn of the century revolver cylinders blasting away out of 5

Uncanny X-Force: "Must Have" Issue

Written by Rick Remender
Art by Jerome Opena

A little confusing at first, since Uncanny X-Force picks up where many years of Marvel comics have left off (specifically X-Force and the X-Men: Second Coming event), but the good things that my co-bloggers had to say about this title kept me reading this single collection of the series' first three issues. And it was totally worth it.

Apocalypse, one of the perennial shit-heads of the Marvel universe, has somehow inhabited the body of a young boy. Wassup with that? Will the X-Force kick his teeth, as they are so good at doing? Or will they save his dumb little ass? And meanwhile, every member of the team is so damned tortured...

On a side note, this is also the least annoying I've ever found Deadpool (Uncanny X-Force Team member) in any comic, ever. He is actually funny here, thanks to Remender.

Also, you should probably check out Peter Milligan and Mike Allred's 2001 take on the X-Force (later X-Statix). It is hilarious and good.

4 out of 5 Unstoppable Ends of the World

Axe Cop: Bad Guy Earth #1

Written By Ethan Nicolle (age 6)
Art by Malachai Nicolle (age 30)

"Frustrated, Axe Cop lay down and took his daily two-minute nap. He dreamed about a T-Rex...that was crying..."

Holy......shit. This comic is...oh, man. Read it. Read it now.
Axe Cop and Dinosaur Soldier vs. EVERYBODY.

Faint bullets for Real Cops.
Wexter, the flying tyrannosaurus that breathes fire and has machine guns for arms.
Mr. Cup, who used to be a great warrior.

This was a web-comic that's now a print comic but...I don't care. Fucking read this NOW.

Five Jillion Everything Sticks out of Five Good Guy Machines.

The Man of Glass

by Martin Flink

This is a delicate story with minimal text and beautiful art.  Relive the memory of a man, a wife and a child.  It's a simple and poetic story about regret.

100% awesome.

Fullmetal Alchemist

Art and Story by Hiromu Arakawa

All right, so I'm late to the party. The Fullmetal Alchemist Party. Everybody already knows how sweet this book is, it's one of the most popular manga series of all time, the anime was amazing, blah blah blah.

Unless you don't! Unless, like me, you only occasionally dip your toe into the strange, exciting, sometimes weird and terrible world of manga and maybe this book slipped off your radar. Sure, you've heard the name before; you thought the name sounded kind of esoteric and dense, something only those hardcore manga nerds would dig. And that's not you, right? You read comics! You are cool!

But you were a fool. And so was I. Me especially. This book is as good as anything I've read in a loooong time. The world is so fleshed out and original; the characters are deeply, sometimes depressingly complex; the balance of funny and dramatic and epic is pitch perfect. I freaking love it.

Don't get me wrong. This actually IS manga for the manga-freaks. There are plenty of those tropes that we've come to love (and hate) sprinkled throughout the series' 24 (and counting) volumes: spontaneous rivers of tears streaming down faces, androgynous male and female lead characters, verbal description of exactly what a character is thinking and plotting, etc. But Arakawa has a deft hand and knows her characters and their culture backwards and forwards. The love and craft put into this book fucking LEAPS off the page. It is accessible to anyone, of nearly any age, not just the initiated.

I am hooked. You will be too. Unless you've already read it, which you probably have.

4.5 out of 5 Equivalent Exchanges.

Galacta: Daughter of Galactus

Written by Adam Warren
 Illustrated by Hector Sevilla Lujan (aka Elsevilla)

Liz versus the comic.  It's taking me all day to read this comic.  Don't let that reflect poorly on the book, I'm just sayin. 

Galacta is hungry.  Like, starving.  Her problem is that she cares too much about the life on earth to do anything about her situation.  She hates her dad for being an uncaring, unattentive, gluttonous beast and tweets about it constantly.  Follow her train of thought and her quest for something to sate her ravenous hunger.  The art suits the story quite well.  It's goofy and relevant to the younger generation of today.  Fun book!  Check it out, it's just a one-shot.

4 out of 5 gigacalories

Steampunk Palin #1

By Fred Perry, Ben Dunn

So, yeah. This exists. Sarah Palin as a steam-powered cyborg combating the evil "oil and nuke" conglomerate for control of the world's energy. Her sidekicks are Robama (I know) and John McCain. Our three heroes are setting aside their political differences for the greater good. Also, Al Gore is the bad guy. Spoiler Alert. "The Gore!"

Hoo boy. I read this shit. For you I read this. There's nothing really more to say about this book except the fact that there are almost as many pages of Palin pinups in the back as there are pages of fucking comic book. They are not hot.

I guess that this started out as an internet goof, with the cover floating around for a while before it got picked up by Antarctic Press. It probably should have stayed out there in meme-land. To be perfectly clear, this book is an unmitigated piece of shit. Steampunk Palin isn't bad enough to be campy and entertaining and it definitely, definitely isn't good.

I just hope that this comic doesn't in any way deter from an important political voice, one of the few politicians out there with the guts to tell it like it is. It certainly won't affect my decision come voting season, 2012, you betcha.

1 out 5 mangled moose carcasses