Final Crisis #1-7

Yet another reminder of why Crossover Event titles suck balls. Don't waste your money. Seriously, it's a complete mess. I can't even tell you what happened because I didn't understand any of it. Something to do with Darkseid and something called "Anti-Life" and every frickin' Super Hero that's ever been in a DC comic. Oh and Batman dies (right, like that'll take). I don't know, maybe I missed something amidst the twenty different stories being told simultaneously, but, since I couldn't possibly muster the will to go back and read it all again, I guess I'll never know. I'm extremely disappointed in Grant Morrison (whom I've always been a huge fan of) who, despite his intelligence and imagination, somehow crafted this disaster. Of course it's not entirely his fault. Everyone at DC Editorial should be ashamed of themselves. Hey guys, it's called "creating a cohesive storyline". Look it up. Perhaps I'm being too harsh, I suppose there are some interesting ideas caught up in all this, but the execution was just so sloppy that they must've gotten lost in the chaos. I really don't like being so negative but I'm haveing trouble coming up with something positive to say here. I guess bringing Barry Allen back was pretty cool. I always liked Barry.

Go pick up the Crisis On Infinite Earths trade instead, which is a fine example of how this sort of thing should be done.

Groom Lake #1

Smoking aliens, giant killer robots, hillbillies being abducted, secret government conspiracies, these are the things that make up Chris Ryall (IDW Editor-In-Chief) and Ben Templesmith's (Wormwood: Gentleman Corpse, Fell) new book Groom Lake. Most of you are probably all too familiar with the whole Area 51/Project Blue Book thing by now, unless you've been living in a cave for fifty years, so you'll come to this book with certain expectations. Rest assured they will all be met and promptly violated. This is not new ground we're treading, to be sure, but that's okay, because I like the direction we're heading. This being a first issue it's mostly about setting up the story, introducing the characters, and generally laying the ground work for what's to come.

The characters are fun (Leticia Pope, the kiss-my-ass government agent and Archibald, our smoking goofball alien buddy) and the few story tidbits have piqued my curiosity. Templesmith's art is, as always, amazing and he delivers the gross stuff with his trademark zeal. If the creators can properly expand on the concept without falling prey to cliches (an easy thing to do with this subject) then we could have a winner. The burning question this issue leaves me with is... did I really just see a guy with a cute, little puppy grafted onto his "nether regions"?

Moneyeyes is (at long last) here, feel free to breathe a sigh of relief.

So we were picking on Curtis last Saturday down at The Vault about things being a little "thin" around here and I happened to mention that I wouldn't mind dropping by for the occasional long winded diatribe about this or that comic. So he said "Sure!" and here we are. So who is this Jamie A.K.A. Moneyeyes anyway?

1. Vault patron from its inception. It is my home away from home and all its employees are my extended family.

2. Comics reader for 25 years. I know my shit, believe it!

3. Master (not) storyteller and writer of fiction.

That about covers it, anything else (FBI investigations, supposed links to organized crime, accusations of bizarre human mutation experiments) is completely superfluous.

I'm gonna try to keep this weekly, so check back often. Now let's talk about some comics.